Bathrooms. Really folks, can we all agree, everyone needs to pee?
I’ve been bothered about public restrooms since I was a child. Back when I went to a lot of football games and concerts, long before I began gender transition, I had no problem whatsoever using the men’s room if the ladies room was packed. I thought it was ludicrous that women stood in lines wrapped around the building. Defiant, I would march right into the men's room and announce "I'm not looking, I just have to pee! I'm not waiting in that long line out there!" Men often brayed their encouragement; some chuckled, "When you gotta go..." They couldn't care less—it was ballsy cool.
I also had the unique experience of the wild and partying Eighties. Public restrooms, especially in bars, were quite often co-ed—or ended up that way by the end of the night. It just didn’t matter. We lost our inhibitions and went wherever there was an open stall. Am I suggesting that we go back to some sort of Roman communal latrine system, which also doubled as a social activity, even a place for business dealings? Well…not exactly.
But I do think it’s high time we overhaul our prissy Victorian toileting way of life. I was recently surprised to learn that gender-specific bathrooms didn’t even exist until the mid to late 1800s!
1850s-1860s: The first separate public facilities appeared in Paris and London
1870s: U.S. legislation began requiring separate facilities in workplaces
1880s-1890s: Department stores introduced "ladies' rooms" as shopping became feminized
The Victorian idea about gender was understood as a "separate spheres ideology"— the belief that men and women required different public and private spaces. There was also an emphasis on modesty and privacy, and domineering attitudes about protecting women. The push for separate bathrooms in workplaces in the U.S. occurred when women began to engage a lot more in public life, including entering the workforce. In fairness, there is historical documentation about gender-based harassment and assault in the workplace. Many men were resentful about women working. According to the word on the street, women would be the cause of diminishing wages and destruction of traditional family values (gosh that sounds familiar).
I can see where separate facilities would be welcomed by most women of that time. But I’m not sure that’s where we are now. Surely we can analyze the public restroom system and come up with something more workable and efficient for everyone.
Let’s look at this purely from a practical standpoint. Separate facilities (men’s/women’s) use duplicated plumbing and basically the same setup. One set is underused, and the other is often overcrowded and poorly maintained. Research shows these separate facilities waste about 40% more space and drive up maintenance costs significantly, while one space often sits nearly empty. Inclusive bathrooms could be creatively redesigned using full height side walls and doors, common areas for handwashing and grooming. Designs for large public spaces like airports and coliseums could include areas for families, caregivers, and people with disabilities. We all know what is happening in those stalls, and most of us simply want in and out as quickly as possible. (see example images below)
Fears about unspeakable crimes going on in public restrooms are mostly in our imaginations. A dirty old man in a dress lurking in the women's room is extraordinarily rare. Bathroom predators are not the norm. LGBTQIA people are accused of being bathroom beasts when statistics tell us that when these unusual bathroom assaults and harassment do occur, the majority of them are imposed by cisgender, heterosexual men. These are sick people, and not the norm.
If you ask me, designs as I describe above would logically reduce the likelihood of assault. Many European countries that have adopted gender neutral bathrooms report zero evidence of increased safety issues.
So can we please have some pees about gender-neutral bathrooms?
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A gender neutral public restroom at a St. Paul public school
A gender neutral public restroom at a sports complex in Japan
A design concept called “Stalled” by Joel Sanders, Architect and Professor at Yale University.
