As a transgender liberal who has consistently supported progressive causes, I find myself in an unusual position: opposing much of the liberal stance on youth gender transitions. While I am committed to transgender rights and reject most conservative ideologies, the questions around youth gender affirming care motivates me to look beyond traditional political allegiances.
I've been ambivalent about weighing in on transgender issues, especially now that the 2024 presidential election is over. I have legitimate fears of being ostracized or threatened, from all directions—not just for being transgender, but for landing right of the middle on some of the issues. But lately, in spite of my hesitancy, I’ve felt some urgency to share a few personal thoughts.
Key topics:
I. Youth Medical Transition
II. Sports Competition
III. To Pee or Not to Pee
IV. Specialness
I find myself thinking a lot about straight/cisgender people, especially those raising children. I think about people who have never been exposed to a large diverse population like is often found in big cities. I wonder, are these people feeling squeezed out because of the growing number of affinity groups ad infinitum? Without a lot of reference points in their daily lives, I imagine it is hard for them to understand.
Let me say outright that I am in no way any sort of expert on transgender research. I also disclose that there was a significant amount of time in my adulthood that I had strong negative opinions about trans people. I had acute internalized transphobia—I know that now—and could be quite boisterous about it. I was frightened of trans people. In my religious-conditioned mind, they were freaks. They were messing with nature and snubbing God. It was only after a dramatic, pivotal moment of irony that I came around. After decades of identifying as a lesbian, I realized that my fears weren’t about other people, or about any God. They had everything to do with not understanding myself as a transmasculine person.
I’d known from about three or four years old that I was different, and by the time I was five, I saw clearly that I was not like other girls. As I grew older, trying to navigate feminine roles became increasingly difficult.
I had always understood gender as a term for one’s biological characteristics. I had a lot of questions for the few transgender people I’d met, mostly about how they reconciled their lives with God. I was in an enormous amount of internal conflict with my own relationship with God, for a number of different reasons. After a lot of soul-searching, and multiple tedious sessions with my therapist, I was able to finally resolve that private battle. Now that I have a much better understanding of myself, and my fellow trans family, I hope that offering my personal, evolving perspective on current events can help. Please bear in mind that nothing is ever crystal clear, no matter how right or wrong a person or group of people think they are.
Most major cultural shifts in society take a long time to settle. To name a few: Women's rights (72+ years)¹, Civil Rights dating from the 13th Amendment (158+ years)², interracial marriage (150+ years)³, motor vehicles (70 years)⁴, television (20-30 years)⁵, and LGBTQIA+ rights (100+ years and still evolving)⁶.
The public needs time to catch up to monumental changes. They need to educate themselves, to soul search, to detangle from their fear of God or their fear of what neighbors, friends, or family might think. But the length of time it often takes for the public to come around can be tragic. It is a sad reality that people, even loved ones, have to die before a large part of the population starts to genuinely notice, for the tide to start to turn, as in the most recent case of George Floyd.
While we trans folks want recognition that we exist and want to live our lives like everyone else, I think it is fair to ask that we remain sensitive to people who struggle to understand us, even those who might despise us. Society is approaching a precipice on transgender matters, and it’s going to take a lot of skill, understanding and compassion to prevent the unthinkable. A wise person recently said to me, “people can’t hear you when you’re screaming at them.”
The crescendo of voices in the public sphere is rising to ear-splitting levels—gender affirming care for kids, trans women in sports, who’s going to pee where. It feels like a giant tug of war that’s rubbing our hands raw. I think there is some merit in a wide mix of these arguments. I even lean towards some of the views from the more conservative side. Or to say it another way—just because I’m trans doesn’t mean my identity determines my ideology.
Reference notes:
¹ Referring to the period from the Seneca Falls Convention in 1848 to the ratification of the 19th Amendment in 1920, though the fight for women's equality continues.
² Spanning from the 13th Amendment's ratification in 1865 through the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s and continuing efforts today. The period includes crucial legislation like the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965.
³ Calculated from early anti-miscegenation laws in the 1660s through Loving v. Virginia in 1967, which finally struck down all remaining state bans on interracial marriage.
⁴ Approximate period from the first mass-produced automobiles in the 1900s through the 1970s, when cars became fully integrated into American society and culture.
⁵ The period from the first commercial television broadcasts in the late 1940s through the 1970s, when TV became ubiquitous in American households.
⁶ Dating from early LGBTQIA+ organizations in the 1920s, through the Stonewall Riots in 1969, marriage equality in 2015, and continuing evolution of rights and acceptance today.
